ONE FOR THE MUMS

What my mother taught me

My mother taught me about religion

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about logic

"If you fall off that swing and break both your legs, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me about contortionism

"Look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about stamina

"You'll sit there until all your vegetables are eaten."

My mother taught me about the circle of life

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about anticipation

"Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about behaviour modification

"Stop acting like your father!"